Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I've been thinking about this a lot for the past week while still waiting on my appointment that I made 3 weeks ago (which is finally tomorrow). My prenatal dr is the hospital/clinic (they're connected, which is something I love about it) only ob. It never once crossed my mind that he would be too busy for a first time pregnant woman who was told 3 years ago she couldn't have kids. But I've just been growing more and more irritated with the situation the longer I've been waiting. My very first ob appointment he didn't show up. I understand that he was busy, but every other dr in the practice has a fill in, except him, so I drove a half hour to an appointment to just turn around and drive back home because apparently his nurses don't call you when he's unable to make an appointment either. Now, this wouldn't have bothered me so much, I was able to make another appointment for 6 days later, but I had moved my original appointment ahead a couple days because I was cramping really bad and I wanted to make sure everything was ok. Having to wait another week, I wanted to switch dr's then, but I didn't. So when I finally got my first ob appointment, he spend what I honestly think was about 20 seconds doing a pelvic exam and pap, and then left. And now there's this; I scheduled my second appointment 3 weeks ago (it was supposed to be set for sometime last week), but the earliest appointment he had available was tomorrow. Really?!? I know he's busy, but he honestly has to have appointments scheduled 3 weeks out? He's a nice dr, but I just don't feel like I'm getting the care I deserve.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Or a hippo maybe, I think they're more round. I've gained 7 pounds in the past month. It's also just 7 pounds in the past 3 months, but I'm only supposed to have gained 3 pounds over the past 3 months, for a total of 15 pounds through this whole pregnancy. I feel like a fat worthless slob. I look nothing like a pregnant woman, I look like a fat obese monster who can't control herself. But here's the thing. I DO control myself. I walk a mile everyday, and when I can't walk outside I borrowed mom's Gazelle and work on that for AT LEAST a half an hour each day. I eat NO junk food, I have one can of soda a week, just to curb my caffeine headaches. I just feel absolutely disgusting. From going from 180, to 250 in less than 6 months, and being told that nothing is wrong with me is hard enough 2 years later to deal with after being unable to lose any weight. But now continually gaining weight and being completely unable to do anything about it, and unable to see any kind of baby-bump, I'm somehow supposed to be comforted by the fact that this is supposedly all for the baby. If it's for the baby, how come I look like a hippo, and not pregnant?